The Self
, |species=Human |gender=Male |birthdate=??? |deceased state=Presumed Deceased (Joke) |classification=Ancient |occupations=Old git |nature type=Wind Release |unique traits=Robust Moustache, Thick eyebrows |Kekkei Genkai=Shikotsumyaku, Sharingan |clan=Akimichi |shippuden=No |jutsu= Calorie Control,Mizudan Suisha, Chōdan Bakugeki, Nikudan Sensha, Baika no Jutsu, Bubun Baika no Jutsu, Nikudan Hari Sensha, Chō Baika no Jutsu, Chōharite, , Dance of the Camellia, Dance of the Clematis: Flower, Dance of the Clematis: Vine, Dance of the Larch, Dance of the Seedling Fern, Dance of the Willow, Ten-Finger Drilling Bullets, Arhat Fist , Wind Release Slash, Wind Release Stream, Wind Release: Vacuum Blade, Wind Release: Vacuum Great Sphere, Wind Release: Vacuum Serial Waves, Wind Release: Vacuum Sphere, Wind Release: Vacuum Wave, |tools= Three Coloured Pills }} The Self (自己, Jiko) is a shambling mix of appetence and the obtuse squeezed into an old leather sack. His robust moustache and thick eyebrows are the crown of his face. A feebleminded, leather-faced, geriatric Old fart; senile, deranged and generally decrepit, wired to thrive on disfunction. Not to be confused with a kindly, grandfather-ly figure, seated in a rocking chair and dressed in a cardigan, He is peculiar and profoundly dimwitted, absurd and greedy; rendered a human vegetable. Personality Dim. Not terribly bright, certainly accident-prone, he has thoughts and feelings, probably, but lacks the intelligence required for articulating them. And though he may imply indifference, even stoicism, he's simply gormless. Speaking with wet lisp, He is unapologetically brusque, irresponsibly abrupt, ill-timed and as perceptive as a rice pudding. His appetite is enormous, gluttony serves as both his defining characteristic and as his most voracious ailment, satiety eludes him and thus he remains a hopeless gut-bucket. A man of simple desires, he adheres to his own sense of honour and is described as having a unique moral code; attaching value to often unusual objects and events. The weight of the world has crushed his spirit, his apathetic demeanour is inveterate and restless, and though frequently mislabelled as debonair, he does not hope for a better condition and remains remarkably unconcerned. Age has eroded his conscience, abrading his ability to empathise and feel compassion, he makes no attempt to slow it's progress and lethargically accepts his condition. His inability to remember people's faces and names is a constant source of comic relief, which may actually be a combination of poor memory, taxing idiocy and total indifference. Often exaggerating senility and the debilitating extent of his age, he is a capable manipulator and possesses a low cold cunning but lacks the savvy to contemplate consequence. Perhaps as definitive of his character as his prodigiously empty mind, he is a consummate epicurean; his personal philosophy is that of dog-like fatalism, or a foreordination towards destiny, which directly impacts the manner in which he lives and conducts himself. His exterior is generally permissive and affable, placid and relaxed, and winningly gruff; his demeanour is that of a pleasant, if indifferent, half-dead codger. In general, he is thought of as eccentric and jovial in disposition, depicted as an 'old coot' and known to exhibit difficulty and confusion when identifying gender. Appearance A lisping, toothless simpleton with a pot-belly, slant eyes and a blank sheet of paper where a brain should be; Impassive and oblivious with an acid-washed expression, his slack-jawed rictus and vacant stare portray him as a hapless dullard. A bristling, white lip-caterpillar distinguishes his staunch upper lip and accentuates his tapering and wolfish features, with its distinctive, deepening crinkles and jutting cheekbones; rooted lines and furrows seemingly burned in. His cadaverous exterior retains the paisley shape of his youth, punctuated by a swollen, distended paunch and comparatively scant limbs. A robust build, possessing relatively distinct angular and narrow characteristics that are aptly demonstrated by the structure of his chiselled facial features, large toilet resembling gob and curiously sharpened teeth. His body is oddly shaped, big boned and slope shouldered, with bulging guts and a fleshiness indicative of a former obesity and excessive age; a motif resembling a giant root vegetable, despite an otherwise canine-like theme. Whilst his lower body is relatively fat and stubby in comparison, his legs are short and significantly bowed, and his back is hunched in an unflattering manner, implying frailty. Abilities His elderly appearance is entirely farcical in regards to physical ability; while seemingly frail, he is, in actuality, quite the opposite. He appears to carry himself with an air of fragility, to the point where he will feign ailment and injury, exaggerate his idiocy and fall asleep on command. Beneath the facade, his true capabilities are considered abominable and unnatural given his advanced age; His physique boasts an unrefined and monstrous strength. A creature of instinct, an old and frothing dog, he is not one for forethought or strategy, instead favouring savagery; his appetite is often the deciding factor in any action. Despite being profoundly dense, he has demonstrated a tremendous instinct for conflict and an almost opportunistic sense of timing. A blunt instrument by definition, he is positioned as a primitive, primordial being who is more an animal than a man, and who excels with extreme and brutal efficiency. Though frequently restrained, his strength and brutality is compounded; a captured wild animal, a creature of instinct that simply and literally fights for its survival. His gastrointestinal tract boasts an exceptionally corrosive stomach acid; equipped with tremendous digestive capabilities, rendering the ingestion of poisons, bacteria and toxins entirely obsolete and void, in addition to minute projectile possibilities and absolute control over his body's calories, and conversion. Miscellaneous